Just a quick favor

November has been crappy. Granted, I knew it would be. I've been dreading it for the last 11 months and suddenly it's here and I feel like it snuck up on me. But with no thanks to my lack of a time machine, I can't keep Scotlin's birthday from coming and as the day is soon approaching (Nov. 24th), I just have a few favors to ask of my friends: 

Please don't tell me you know how you feel if you don't.

Please don't tell me that my son died because he was perfect or try to rationalize his death in some other way that may make sense to you. 

Please let me cry- as long and as hard as I want to. 

Please don't tell me "at least you can try again." I promise, we've been trying...it's not as easy as people make it out to be.

Please let me talk about my baby.

Please don't change the subject by saying, "on a happier note...".  I hate being made to feel like MY son depresses YOU.

If you don't know what to say, don't say anything. A hug will do just fine. I'd rather sit in silence than hear things that will hurt me. If you don't know whether it will hurt me or not, please don't say it. 

Please feel free to call me. I'd rather not be alone that day.

However, please don't be offended if I have to be alone for a few minutes.

Please try not to feel uncomfortable if I get emotional. If you can't handle a mom crying over her dead son, don't read my blog, and don't come around for a few weeks. 

Please tell me what you remember about him. If you came to the hospital or to his funeral. Or even if you were around when I was pregnant. I love to hear about my son. I LOVE to talk about him. 

If I cry, please don't feel like you have to comfort me. Comfort and peace come with time. If nothing else, just CRY with me!

Please don't forget Evan. He was just as invested in my pregnancy as me and he was just as excited to be a dad as I was to be a mom. Just because he doesn't post on this blog doesn't mean he doesn't hurt every bit as much as I do. 

Please feel free to share your own stories with me. If you or a friend has lost a baby, please feel free to give them my email address, blog address or phone number. It always helps me to meet new angel mommies.

I appreciate all the love and support that we've been given throughout this very difficult, very trying year. Your love and understanding have helped us get through this devastation and helped us to come out on top (for the most part). I love you all!