2 Years of Being an Angel Mommy...

...and it still hurts. Do I still wish I'd wake up and it'll all have been an awful dream? yes. Although, I can say that I've learned a lot about myself and my Savior since that awful day. 

        It's all very hard to describe. I think Evan can see the different person I've become. Maybe my family can too. But from any other viewpoint, you'd have a hard time knowing that I've grown and changed so much. My heart has changed. I can consider myself lucky, I guess, because many people who lose a child find that their heart becomes cold and hard. Their view of the world becomes bleak and empty. That happened to me for a while. But, thanks to my knowledge of the Gospel of Jesus Christ, and also to the numerous prayers that were offered up on behalf of my family, my heart has been able to heal.

        I can think about November 24th, 2009 and be grateful for the events of that day. I can remember the week that followed and see the myriad of blessings that Heavenly Father poured down on my family and me. I can thank the people that took care of me and carried me for so long until I could take care of myself again (which was a long time). And, especially, I can think about my Scotlin, that beautiful, sweet angel that I held in my arms, and even though I cry, I can be grateful that I have a son that is PERFECT! 

       I know where Scotlin is. I know he's busy in heaven doing work for Heavenly Father that he couldn't have done if he was on earth as a bubbly little 2 year-old. I grieve his absence. But I'm so blessed to have a permanent angel watching over my family. I know that he'll be the last one our future children see before they come to Earth. I hope he tells them that we're the best parents ever and that we'll love them just as much as we love him!

       I'm doing well and I'm happy! But sometimes, in quiet moments, I'd love to catch a glimpse of Scotlin. I cry to think that he's in heaven while I'm here missing him. But I'm glad heaven has such a good angel. I think I'm the luckiest momma in the world

Feelin Warm and Fuzzy

The countdown has been running, and It's down to the last TWO WEEKS before we get to go home to Utah! Luckily, Evan's brother Stephen is getting married in Logan, so we'll get to see BOTH SIDES of the family! Meanwhile, our school schedules are absolutely PACKED with tests and practicals. It's a bit stressful, but at least we get an awesome prize at the end of the two weeks, wouldn't ya say? 

Besides getting to see our family, and see Stephen and Bryndel be sealed forever {which is awesome, because we love Bryndel and are so excited she's going to be part of our family}, we get to be in Logan for Scotlin's birthday! Last year, I was sure that it would be years before we'd get to visit him on his birthday, but I was wrong! And very fittingly, his birthday is ON THANKSGIVING! We have so many reasons to be thankful for Scotlin and our FOREVER FAMILY!!!

Also during our trip, we get to spend time with the two oldest of my four younger brothers that are leaving on their MISSIONS on November 30th! Evan is going to Alabama and Ben is going to Washington, DC. I'm so proud of them, and they're both going to be excellent in their search for people to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with! 

 I've been laughing this week while all my friends and family back home are posting pictures of the SNOW in Utah!! I shouldn't though, because the Midwest is supposed to get slammed this winter and they'll all be laughing at me. But for now, I'm enjoying the jacket-weather and taking long walks while taking pictures of the beautiful fall colors!

The sky turned out really pretty in this one...I especially love how the flash illuminated the road sign behind us.

This is right next to our house which is --> direction.

And later that night, like the good students we are, we went to school and studied. Look at how enthusiastic Evan is...he really loves school!

And last-but-should-be-first are our amazing friends Devin and Shanna! We cuddled up and watched Hocus Pocus for Halloween! It was terrific, but I hope they don't care I posted this picture...they didn't even know I was gonna take it.

I know a lot of people feel a change as the end of the year draws nearer. I know that for me I remember, more frequently, to be grateful and to look for joy in my life. I know Evan and I are where Heavenly Father needs us to be, and I'm grateful to serve Him and allow His spirit to be with me. Happy November everyone!